![married with separate finances married with separate finances](https://dailyverses.net/images/en/niv/xl/matthew-19-4-6.jpg)
(so let's say the household amex charges + utilities were $2000 a month, but the total amex bill between us was $4K - i pulled $1000 out of his account and $3K out of mine. I pulled that amount from his account and paid everything else out of mine. we put everything on the amex, splitting household charges on the card (cells, insurances, etc.) down the middle, and dividing utilities (i'd add his half of the utilities to his half of the household portion of the amex bill). The first 10 or so years we were together, i outearned him by a rather significant amount. Worked/s kinda like this, for us, though it does require me to do some math every month: My husband and have been together for 19 years and married for 12 and have successfully and quite easily managed our household with split finances. Is this doable in the long run or am I fooling myself? Tl dr: husband and I have separate bank accounts and I feel jealous(?) about his extra cash when I have none. Does that make sense, or am I just crazy? But I don't want everything in the house to belong to him, and I hate the idea of splitting every bill for every item one of us buys for the house. When I bring this up to him, he says "Whatever, I'll just pay for it myself". But I feel weird about paying for the whole thing since it will be for both of us. Like right now I would love to buy a coatrack for the house. But is this doable? Are people able to be married with separate bank accounts? My best friend has been telling me it's impossible and the more I read on r/relationships, the more I see most people agree. Besides, this isn't a question of "Should I end things?" because that's not even in my mind. But the reality is I fell in love with him and I thought "Separate finances aren't enough of a reason to end a relationship, we can work through this". I know the obvious answer is "You should have figured this out before you got married". As it stands right now, if I had an emergency bill like a car problem or a vet bill - I would be pretty screwed. I can't afford to buy myself these things. I never used to care much because I'm not materialistic, but I'm starting to feel jealous(?) when he comes home with new clothes or magazines or electronics. His bills take a lot of his pay as well, but I know he has more wiggle room than I do. After putting money towards my line of credit (my name only) and savings, I have pretty much nothing left over.
![married with separate finances married with separate finances](https://www.irishnews.com/picturesarchive/irishnews/irishnews/2019/08/07/001019837-8c78e372-c56c-43a8-b46a-19db5ff1ae37.jpg)
bitter? My bills take up almost all of my pay.
![married with separate finances married with separate finances](https://storage.googleapis.com/ff-storage-p01/press_kits/posters/002/024/351/original/957aca01a1-poster.jpg)
He always pays when we go out to dinner, he always offers to pay for things that I need if I'm short on money.īut I'm starting to feel kind of. But I'm wondering if this is doable in the long run? I have asked him what if one of us lost our jobs, what if one of us got hurt and had to take time off work, etc., and he always says in those situations, we would change how we do our money and would likely combine accounts - but that would only happen in emergency situations. I have always been okay with splitting finances because we don't plan on having children and I didn't think it was necessary. We split our bills fairly as per income - he pays mortgage/insurance, I pay utilities/property taxes. We both make decent money but he makes more than twice what I make. He has always been adamant about not combining finances/bank accounts. We bought a house just after getting married, it's in both our names equally.
![married with separate finances married with separate finances](https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-rMTRH0KPmqE/XkAS652oecI/AAAAAAAADS0/-h-rbil_iy8rvYnh-psmSE3bkaPow6lmwCLcBGAsYHQ/s640/separate%2Bbeds.jpg)
I've been with my husband for about 5 years.